“Deaconstructing”

What does it mean

St. Phoebe, the first named woman deacon in the early church

St. Phoebe, the first named female deacon in the early church, looking fierce as hell

to deaconstruct?

To deconstruct is to blow apart

pre-conceived notions,

binaries,

to break apart

structures and systems and ideas and words

to lay them bare

for what they are.

To deacon-struct is to build

what it means

to be a deacon,

to be a servant,

to be a minister on the margins

in the face of a church that says, “Not people like you.”

To dea-construct is to undo

that which has bound us

that which has confined us

that which has shamed us–

those labels and roles of

ministers-are-and-are-not-this

deacons-can-and-cannot-be-this.

Accountability is holy; but I dare say

God never invented the box.

And so, I deaconstruct.

The roots of the word “deacon”

mean “through the dust”

for the feet of the messengers

kicking up what remained in their wake.

In deaconstructing the powers,

I too will kick up the dust

from which we came and which we come,

the dust of no use

and the dust of holy things.

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